Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire! A Choose Your Own Ending Story

Once upon a time, Momma Bear and Poppa Bear had 4 little baby bears. Both Momma and Poppa worked and took care of the babies. After a while, though, Poppa seemed like he was less interested in the family than before, and eventually he left. The court awarded Momma Bear child support, but Poppa didn’t want to pay it, so he kept finding reasons to send less and less; when Momma complained, he gave her a bunch of double talk about how he was “borrowing” some of the child support money and he would pay it back next month, but he never did. When Momma howled again, he claimed that he HAD paid it back, and that she had plenty of money, so quit howling.

So, having to live on less income, Momma Bear went off to the grocery store with her four babies each week with increasing anxiety. It was hard to stretch less money every week, what with the babies getting bigger all the time and most of them not really being babies anymore. Food kept getting more and more expensive, so Momma kept making changes, like instead of serving trout, she would make fish chowder, which was cheaper but still kept the kids fed. It was their favorite dinner. On Sundays, instead of serving three meals, she skipped breakfast and served a “brunch” instead of breakfast and lunch, which cost less than serving two meals, but still filled the kids up almost enough. By cutting corners like this, Momma just got by, but she had to be real careful.

It was hard on the kids too, because as they grew, they wanted more and more to eat, but Momma could afford to buy them less and less. One day at the store, it all blew apart. They were checking out and Momma could see that she had just enough money in her wallet to cover the total bill with a dollar left to spare. When Baby Bear saw Momma get the dollar back as change, she started begging for a small pot of honey which the grocery store had cleverly put for sale right by the cash register, where Baby Bears shopping with their Mommas could not fail to see it. “It only costs 79 cents, Momma” hollered Baby Bear. "You can afford it. The cashier lady just gave you back a dollar!”

“But Baby, if I buy that for you, I have to buy one for your sister and one for each of your two brothers too. That would cost over $3, and I only have the one dollar. Sorry, but we can’t afford it.”

“What do you mean we can’t afford it?” howled Baby. “I see the dollar right there in your wallet! The lady just gave it to you! You have a dollar – buy me the honey, please Momma, I really really need it, I’m so hungry, I never get enough food anymore.”

Momma replied, “Baby, you think I can afford to buy you that because you are just thinking about yourself. But I have to think about your sister and brothers too. If I buy that for you, I have to buy the same thing for them. And I can’t afford to spend over $3 when I only have $1.”

“Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!” screamed Baby. “Why are you saying that it costs over $3 when I can see the sign right there and it says it costs 79 cents. You have a dollar – you can afford it. You just won’t buy it for me because you’re mean. And a liar!”

Choose your own ending:
First ending:
Momma Bear, wanting to avoid causing any further scene at the grocery store, and feeling sorry for Baby Bear, who really wasn’t getting enough to eat these days because Poppa Bear was being a jerk, apologized to the cashier, and looked through the groceries she had bought to put some things back on the shelves until she had enough money left to buy the 4 pots of honey for her kids. The kids were thrilled and Baby Bear told her she was The Best Momma EVER!

Later that week, Momma served fish chowder for dinner, but this time she made it with no fish, because the trout was one of the things she put back on the shelf at the store. The kids complained because fish chowder without fish is really not much of a meal – just potato and broth. Two hours after dinner, they were whining because they were hungry again, but Momma had nothing else to give them. The next day, as the family was passing around the bowl of baked beans that was their dinner, Baby Bear started to cry because she always got the bowl last, and her sister and brothers hadn’t left much of anything for her. “Make me a jam sandwich, Momma,” she begged. But there was no jam for sandwiches, because that had also gone back onto the shelf. And on Sunday, there was no breakfast, no lunch, and not even any brunch – just one meal called “supper” served in the middle of the day, and everyone went to bed with an almost empty stomach. No one thought Momma Bear was the Best Momma Ever – they thought she was mean!

Second ending:
Despite the fact that her kids were making a scene (by now the three other Bear children were chanting “Buy her the honey! Buy her the honey!”), Momma Bear held firm. She picked up her grocery basket and headed out of the store for home. Reluctantly, the children followed her out of the store, but part way home, they all just stopped in their tracks and said, “You’re the Meanest Momma EVER! We’re not going home with you! Not unless you buy that honey!”

“Sorry,” said Momma Bear, and she kept on walking home, thinking all the way about what a jerk Poppa was for putting her into this position. Momma made a nice fish chowder for dinner, with big pieces of trout, just the way the children liked it. As it started to get dark outside, and cold, one by one the kids came home. They weren’t happy with Momma, and they sulked around the house refusing to talk to her. At dinnertime, lured by the smell of their favorite trout chowder, they all appeared at the table, and the Oldest Bear even complimented Momma on her cooking. There were enough beans to go around on baked bean night, and even a couple of jam sandwiches for snacks.

Momma knew that her kids still wanted the honey, though, and she vowed that if Poppa ever stopped being a jerk and started paying the family what they were entitled to for child support, she would find a way to get that honey for her kids.