Wednesday, December 12, 2007

[Boots] Installment 3: Head banging continues...

The third installment of Boot's BOE campaign diary:



After I picked up the original paperwork from the Election Department and before the Friday deadline, I noticed that I needed two critical things: a campaign phone line and a website. I had an extra line at my home which was originally supposed to be a dedicated fax line which I didn't use much and it was put into service as my election phone. I decided I needed a website and I asked the IT guy we use at our business if he could help me. He said he had just started to learn web design and for an outrageously reasonable price he devised a website which may have been his first….for my campaign. All this was accomplished in about 24 hours.

The nice lady at the Elections Department took issue with much of my paperwork. First, my name! Luckily I had read most of the fine print in the paperwork and I was able to defend myself. She wanted my name to match my voter registration; I successfully pointed out that this was not required. Next, she refused to allow me to put my occupation as "attorney"! This was infuriating. I am a licensed attorney. My license is active. I have been licensed for almost 30 years and spent at least 25 of them litigating. What was her reason? According to rules, one must have earned money at the occupation within the past 12 months! This puts some candidates, particularly women and particularly women who stay home with children, at distinct disadvantages. In my opinion, it is sexist. One can put volunteer pursuits in the "occupation" field, but ONLY if they are approved by the Secretary of State and ONLY if they are fewer than three words. Thus, I could not call myself a School Site Council member (which I was) because the Secretary of State did not have this position in the big black book of approved "occupations" AND because it was more than three words. "Attorney volunteer" was not approved! "School Volunteer" was not approved. "Public School volunteer" was not approved. "Community volunteer" (whatever that is!) was OK. Now you know why so many people call themselves "community volunteer" in the voter handbook: it's just about the only volunteer work the Secretary of State recognizes.

I demanded to see the legendary Secretary of State's book of occupations. An enormous black volume was hefted onto the counter. This book was a hoot. I flipped through it and saw "working stiff" listed. I said, "I love this one!" She scowled at me and said, "If you notice, that one is NOT approved." Sure enough, next to "working stiff" was a notation that it was NOT approved. So if you wonder why so many candidates on the ballot are forced to claim odd occupations, you can chalk it up to the Secretary of State's hideously outdated (probably hasn't been changed since the 1930s), sexist list of occupations and approved volunteer work designations. Moral to this story: sometime in the 12 months preceding the election, make sure you are compensated in an occupation you plan to list in the voter handbook. Those of you who thought Larry Kane was an idiot because his campaign signs referred to "Coach" Kane and the voter handbook didn't, are ignorant of the irrational constraints imposed by the Elections Department and the Secretary of State.

Then there was the party line. I'm referring, of course, to the line on the candidate's application which says: Party:_______________. The Board of Education is a non-partisan election! The party line has no business being there, but I guess I can forgive it on the "one- size-fits-all"-bureaucratic- form grounds. The line appeared in several contexts and each time I wrote in something like, "non- partisan race" or N/A (not applicable). There were no objections to this at the Elections Department, but the ramifications set in later, as you will learn.

I was frazzled by the end of this procedure. DB was proud as punch. He beamed at me and said, "That was the easy part." Uh oh.

I left hastily and drove home. At home I noticed that I did not have my critical calendar/address book and thought I might have left it at the Elections Department. So I drove back to the Elections Department, which was now closed, it being after 5:00 PM. The lady in the Elections Department had told me that they expected to be working until midnight, so I knocked on the door and a guard opened it a crack. Inside I could see a few last minute candidates filling out forms. They must have gotten inside before 5:00 PM. I explained my dilemma and the guard said he would search for the book. A few minutes later the door opened and a head popped out. It was Starchild. Only the head…not the body. If the body had followed, the guard would have locked him out. Obviously he was a last-minute candidate. I was as surprised to see him as he was to see me. I wasn't sure if he would recognize me. Two years earlier, after the Bayview/Hunter's Point Board of Education forum I had attended as an ad hoc reporter for this group, I had given him and one other candidate a ride home. During the ride I had listened to Starchild talk about the nuts and bolts of voter handbook statements and learned a great deal. He didn't act as if he recognized me. With great urgency, he said, "Is DB out there?" I looked up and down the hall. As far as I knew, he had left right after I did, much earlier in the afternoon. I said, "I don't think so." "OK" said Starchild and disappeared into the Elections Department. Some time later the guard reported no luck finding my book. One thing was for sure, DB was an equal opportunity advisor.

--Boots Whitmer

Next: Le deluge!

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1 Comments:

At Thu Dec 13, 12:46:00 PM, Anonymous Caroline said...

I'm bursting to suggest a Boots-Starchild ticket.

 

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